December 2018 - Shepherd of Faith

spiritually childlike — Spiritually childlike

Where are YOU now? Really, where are you spiritually? The older I get the more I realize I need to “check myself” before I judge or criticize someone else. Dear friends, I have a secret to share – you’re not perfect……..AND NEITHER AM I! Look in the mirror. We all have ways about us that are less than perfect, ways that can use adjusting. Actually, I would go out on a limb and say there are things about us that are most likely judged and criticized by others. I can guarantee that there are things we do and say ourselves that we would be quick to judge or criticize about others.

In this same vein, it occurred to me just this morning how much we expect of God. We expect so much but fail to deliver on what He expects of us. When things don’t go our way we have the audacity to ask him: “Where are you?” How often do you think God asks that of us?! Did I hear you gasp? Light bulb moment? I know it was for me this morning.

Spiritually spent?

So, why don’t you ask yourself today – where am I now, spiritually? Am I the same person I was 20 years ago, 10 years ago, 5 years ago? Heck, am I the same person I was 2 weeks ago? Has my spiritual/prayer routine gone unchanged for decades? I would hope your answer is DEFINITELY NOT! I would like to believe I am not the same person I was just yesterday.

Of course, I can ‘t take credit for the positive changes I feel I’ve made up to this point. To God ALL the glory. All I can take credit for is “showing up” each day to receive all God has to offer me through prayer, meditation, Scripture, spiritual reading and community (friends and family members that inspire me to be better and do better). How important that is for me to show up so that He can transform me. He is the potter, I am the clay.

Inspired by Richard Rohr

I began thinking about this today after reading Richard Rohr’s Daily Reflection. You can read the whole thing here. Here’s the part that got my attention:

If we do not discover a prayer practice that “invades” our unconscious, and reveals what is hidden, we actually change very little over our lifetime………When you meditate consistently, a sense of your autonomy and private self-importance–what you think of as your “self”–falls away, little by little, as unnecessary, unimportant, and even unhelpful. The imperial “I,” the self that you likely think of as your only self, reveals itself as largely a creation of your mind.

Through regular access to contemplation, you become less and less interested in protecting this self-created, relative identity. You don’t have to attack it; it calmly falls away of its own accord and you experience a kind of natural humility……..In meditation, you move from ego consciousness to soul awareness, from being fear-driven to being love drawn.

Meditation

I started this blog over three years ago when my meditation practice was in it’s “infancy.” I wanted to share with others how amazing the practice of meditation really is. I cannot adequately express how deeply it has moved and transformed me. Want to know how I know I’ve been transformed? It’s quite simple, I’m an attorney who no longer feels the need to prove to others that I am right. Actually, I am an attorney who no longer feels the need to be right! That’s “off stage”, of course!

In addition to all that, there’s a particular peace and joy that resides in my innermost being. A peace and a joy that cannot be shaken no matter the circumstance. The peace and joy comes from feeling God’s Presence around me at all times. I no longer have the audacity to ask: “where are you now?” because I know, to steal a line from St. Augustine, He is closer to me than I am to myself.

So every morning I “show up” for meditation. I say yes to just sitting with God. I imagine myself on the potter’s wheel as I sit. Although I may not “feel” anything at times I know He, the potter, is at work. I surrender to His action and Presence in my life. Yes thoughts creep in every so often. There are days I feel a sense of consolation and then there are days I feel total desolation. It happens. It’s all normal and so life changing!

So, the next time God asks: “Where are you now?” Will you respond as Samuel did? Will you show up? Please do and share your experience with me. God bless you!

Where are You now? Have you ever made a fist and looked up to the sky and asked God this question? Have you ever prayed fervently for something in particular and thought your prayers were being answered only to have the rug pulled out from under you shortly thereafter? Lord knows I have.

Just recently I was “teased.” I imagined my prayer was being answered and I was overjoyed. Unfortunately, just several hours later I was socked in the gut! I was met with a wall of resistance I would never have imagined. Surprisingly for me, I remained peaceful; I wasn’t “shaken by the storm.” I realized in that instance that God was at work in my life. He was in control, just not as I had thought.

I laugh to myself sometimes when I think about how God works. I’m reminded of something Oprah said many years ago about being careful what you pray for. She said something like: God doesn’t just shower down the virtues we pray for, He gives us situations that help those virtues increase in our lives (I’m paraphrasing of course). So when I pray for patience and humility, etc……………..you mean He’s not going to wave his magic wand? Apparently not. I’m learning that firsthand.

One thing I will say – It’s an awesome feeling to recognize how God is working in my life – not just in the BIG moments but in the small moments too. What a blessing it is for me to be attuned to His loving gaze each and every moment of the day. It makes my heart leap with joy!

Today, as part of my Advent meditations, I reflected on Luke 1:48: “He has regarded the lowly estate of His handmaiden.” In considering that verse with Psalm 22 it became clear to me that when we turn our gaze to God in humility, He returns the gaze. It’s that simple! If we have to ask: where are you now?, it’s not because He’s far off, it’s because our gaze is not on Him and His will.

One song I heard yesterday really put it all in perspective: even in our suffering, even when it can’t be seen, I know, You’re in control! Those words are taken from my new favorite – Lauren Daigle’s Look Up Child.