Belonging more deeply!
Today I felt compelled to share the reflection I mentioned in my Power of Yes blog. Just a little bit of background: several years ago I was asked to give a reflection to my parish congregation. The topic was Belonging More Deeply. Here’s what I shared:
As I thought about the topic of belonging more deeply and how we could do that, three words came to mind: prayer, surrender and gratitude.
As Christians, we know how important prayer is in our relationship with God, who is with us at all times. I grew up knowing the importance of prayer. However, never was it more evident to me than on September 11, 2001. I remember the day vividly. My husband and I had just purchased our first home and adopted our late dog, Leo. I was a practicing attorney in Manhattan, working in the Woolworth Building, just 2 blocks from the WTC. My husband was a union electrician working inside the WTC.
The day started as any other day. Actually, it was better than any other day. I was exceptionally happy with life. I remember walking the dog and holding my head up high as I thought: Thank you God! As I approached my front door, my neighbor popped his head out to tell me that a plane had just hit the WTC. My husband was there. The only thing I knew would comfort me and help me believe that he would get out alive was prayer. I learned very early in my life about the power of prayer from my mother. So I decided to call the rest of our family. I thought “the more prayer the better the chance of his survival.”
It was 9:30 before I was finally able to hear his voice. He was ok and trying to make his way home. Several days after the ordeal, my husband shared his version of the events. He was on the 91st floor of tower 1, just two floors below where the first plane hit. After exiting the building and realizing that the subway system had been shut down, he had no idea where to go from there. As he wandered the streets of lower Manhattan, he ran into a childhood friend he hadn’t seen in many years and who happened to be a NYC police officer. The officer filled him in on the facts and pointed him in the direction of the Brooklyn Bridge. My husband made his way to the bridge and then the first tower fell.
As the puff of smoke from the fallen building was about the engulf my husband, he turned to see a van trying to get past the sea of people attempting to cross the Brooklyn Bridge and noticed the driver was alone. He knocked on the window and asked the man to let him in and he did, before the smoke reached them. My husband was simply looking to make it across the bridge, but the man lived in our area and drove him straight to our front door. The man’s name was Manuel – short for Emmanuel – God is with us. Looking back on that day, it is obvious that God was with my husband.
Our life’s story may not always have a happy ending, but if we pray for God’s will to be done in our lives, we will experience the peace that comes with the realization that everything God does is good – which leads me to surrender. Most of us attach a negative connotation to the word surrender, like giving up or giving in, when in fact surrender is an opening of our arms and hearts to the will of God. One example of surrender I can give from my own life is a condition I have called endometriosis. Endometriosis is a female health disorder that leads to lots of pain and ultimately infertility.
About ten years ago, my husband and I decided we wanted to start a family. After trying for over a year with no luck, we found out I had a blocked fallopian tube and the only way to clear it was surgery. Unfortunately, the surgery was unsuccessful. Fast forward several years, as I was reading a magazine, I came across an ad for the Endometriosis Foundation of America.
I researched the foundation and although I didn’t get a good vibe from the doctor affiliated with the organization, one thing led to another and I landed in the office of a specialist, who sat with me and explained my condition in detail and explained what he could do to alleviate my pain. I was thrilled and scheduled the surgery. To my surprise, the doctor was able to clear my tube. I was ecstatic and felt great afterwards. I felt truly blessed to have found this doctor and even more blessed that we were only responsible to pay $250.00 of a $55,000.00 bill.
Given how I feel today, I know that the condition has returned. I originally thought that the coincidence of my reading that ad and meeting such a wonderful doctor was a sure sign that I would become a mother some day. But I know now that wasn’t the case. I’ve surrendered to God’s will for my life – and if that means not having children – then so be it. I’m comforted by the fact that God has greater plans for us. For that I am grateful! Which leads me to my third point, gratitude. We can belong more deeply by nurturing an attitude of gratitude.
We all know that God gives us the help we need to get through anything. The Eucharist reminds us of that. But He also bestows numerous blessings on us day in and day out. For example, the grace of a new day – an opportunity He gives us to start all over again to try and get it right. If we focus on the good things in our lives instead of the bad, we can allow for a shift in our spirit, a shift that raises our awareness to what is truly important and calls us to become more charitable. With an attitude of gratitude, we begin to shift in our desires by asking “how can I serve?” instead of asking “what’s in it for me?”
We must be aware of the fact that people are constantly taking notice of our actions, both good and bad. But as disciples of Christ, let us focus on the little things we can do – a kind word, a gentle smile, a simple good morning. Maybe even regular attendance at church will inspire someone else to return to the faith. My mother in law once expressed why she joined a particular faith. She admired her own mother in law. She recalled what a peaceful, loving, happy person her mother in law was. My mother in law remembers thinking “I want what she has.” Isn’t that what it’s all about? Shouldn’t we be that example for the people in our lives we hope would return to the faith. Let us live our lives in such a way that they say – “I want what they have!”
If any of us needs a model of how to belong more deeply, we don’t have to look very far. The Blessed Virgin Mary epitomizes everything I’ve discussed here. She surrendered to God’s will for her life more than 2,000 years ago. She agreed to be the vessel through which Jesus Christ our Savior would enter the world. She was aware of the heartache it would bring to her. First when she would have to explain her pregnancy to her fiancé Joseph. Then again after her son was born. Imagine what it must have been like for her, knowing what her son must endure for our salvation. Yet surrender she did.
In the story of the visitation, we are reminded of the pregnant Mary visiting with her pregnant cousin Elizabeth. They share experiences with one another and understand the sacredness of what is about to happen. In researching for my reflection, I came upon a Benedictine blog that beautifully explains the lesson in the Visitation story. It reads: “All of us have sacred experiences we can share with one another. Let us be like Mary and Elizabeth willing to share our lives with one another and willing to listen carefully and reverently to the other, so that we may encourage one another on the journey. This is a holy privilege and an awesome responsibility. Let us be in visitation to one another.” That’s what I hope to accomplish with this blog. That is the reason I decided to create it.
We can belong more deeply in many ways. Study the faith. Trust that our prayers will be answered. Surrender to God’s will for our lives. Be grateful for the blessing that is our life. So keep the lines of communication with God open. When life gives you lemons make lemonade. Last but not least, start your day of service with a smile. Smile each and every day regardless of your circumstances knowing that God loves you and lives in you.
Let us help bring the light of Christ into the world. May God bless you all!
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