Coming to a place of purity. Aaah! Here I am fresh out of “retreat mode.” I am attempting to maintain a certain level of solitude, stillness and peace as I go back “into the world.” I am so grateful to have these experiences of retreat several times a year. They stretch me in ways I could never have imagined. A true testament to the generosity of our Lord. All we have to do is open our hearts to His mercy and grace.
I recently had the opportunity to spend the weekend at Mt. St. Benedict Monastery in Erie, PA – home of the Benedictine Nuns. I spent one of my days there participating in their Stillpoint Retreat – focused on contemplative prayer. The retreat was 7 hours of silence and included blocked times of sitting or mindfully walking. During that time we were given an opportunity to interview the priest leading the retreat. One word tugged at my soul the rest of the weekend as a result of my brief interview with the priest, It continues to inspire me to this day. The word was PURITY.
The priest told me that we aim to get to a place of purity through contemplative prayer (just sitting) ! He explained that by purity he meant clear, limpid. He described it in this way: Imagine a “clear” puddle in the dark – it reflects the moon. If that same puddle is disturbed, the ripples reflect not just one moon but many moons. As I thought about what he meant and how I could apply it to my own life I realized the effect contemplation could have on me. It is transforming and it is something I truly desire for myself. I’d like to elaborate a bit more on what I believe the priest meant.
As a Catholic Christian I try my best to reflect the light of Christ into the world on a daily basis, as I’m sure many people do. This is so easy to do when life is good and going according to our plans. However, what happens when things don’t go according to our plans? Often we succumb to anger, distress and anxiety. When we get “disturbed” like the puddle, for some reason we find it hard to keep our peace. We find it hard to continue to reflect the light of Christ.
Contemplation gets us to the point where we keep our peace no matter the circumstance. Isn’t that a grand idea? Isn’t that what we all wish for ourselves – to be at peace NO MATTER WHAT? No anger, no distress, no anxiety – just steady, balanced and consistently serene.
I realized In my pondering throughout the weekend that not only is that purity a great place for me to be personally but it’s also a great place for me to be as a witness of God’s goodness. You see, a place of purity will allow us, like the puddle, to maintain the same reflection when we’re at peace AND when we get “disturbed.” The only difference in the reflection is that because of our purity, like the puddle, in our disturbance what we normally reflect becomes magnified. What do I mean by this?
How many of us, who consider ourselves to be Christian, have over-reacted or acted in a less than “christian” way in the past? I think we all have. How many of us have been the object of the comment: “Some Christian you are” or “this coming from a Christian” as if we, who claim to be Christian, have ever claimed to be perfect! As much as I dislike that comment, especially when it’s directed at me, I understand where it’s coming from. I understand that the reason I dislike it so much is because it convicts me. It makes me realize that no matter how hard I’ve tried, I’ve fallen short of being my best self.
So my weekend retreat made me realize that I no longer want to be a “fair weather Christian” as I like to call it. In other words, I don’t want to just reflect Christ when I’m in a good mood because all is well. I want to reflect Christ even when someone or something pushes my buttons because THAT’S when the reflection of Christ becomes magnified.
The reflection of Christ in us becomes magnified when we keep our peace REGARDLESS of the circumstances. That’s what it means to come to a place of purity. We become transparent, clear through and through. Limpid, clear and simple, absolutely serene and untroubled. When we become pure our witness is magnified, just as the reflection of the moon in the puddle is magnified.
That purity, which is the result of contemplation, is contagious. THAT’s why I believe it’s a great way to witness God’s goodness to the entire world. I think of the nuns I’ve met at Mt. St. Benedict and the Trappist Monks I’ve met during my retreats at Gethsemani Abbey in Kentucky or Genesee Abbey in New York and I am reminded of what it means to be pure. I think of the Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, Mahatma Ghandi and most significantly Jesus and I know to where I want to journey!
I am guilty of losing my peace when I am disturbed with circumstances that surround my life. I will continue to pray to GOD that I reach a the level of contemplation where I can keep my peace regardless of the circumstances. As you stated, it is a “grand idea”. I would LOVE to be at peace “NO MATTER WHAT”. Thank you for sharing your retreat experience and for reminding us what the power of prayer WILL do for us all.