9/11 Archives - Shepherd of Faith

Here we are, 15 years later – landscape and lives changed forever! I am always moved by the tributes and memorials made in honor of those lost on 9/11. People pray today for those lost and for the strength and comfort of their families. I get all that, but what about survivors? As some of you may know, my husband is a 9/11 survivor. He was on the 91st floor of tower 1 that fateful morning.

Today, as moving as they are, we don’t watch the tributes, we don’t attend the memorials because it’s a painful reminder of the horror he experienced that day. Instead we celebrate what I like to call his second birthday. Unfortunately, sometimes I feel like the survivors are forgotten every year (this became apparent today when we stopped at a new place to have breakfast and there was a sign on the door that read: The restaurant will be closed on Sunday 9/11 in honor of those lost. My instant reaction was – what about those who survived who want to celebrate?) I think the impression is that survivors are alive so everything is alright when nothing could be further from the truth.

I never know what my husband wants to do when the anniversary rolls around. Does he want to acknowledge the anniversary or does he want to approach the day as usual? I didn’t just want to ignore the elephant in the room today so I asked. His response was: “I just want it to go away – I don’t want to be reminded of it.” “Ok, I get it” I replied and the conversation ended there. I went to church and the recessional song God Bless America resonated today like never before. It brought tears to my eyes.

He was ready to roll when I returned home from church. He was ready to celebrate and put this “anniversary” behind him. We hadn’t made any prior plans for the day but he expressed that he wanted to hop on his motorcycle and go somewhere for breakfast. I took it as a sign that he wanted to affirm his life, to be and feel free, so that’s just what we did.

The weather was absolutely glorious today. As we rode, I thought about the blessing of today and our ability to spontaneously ride and experience the beautiful landscape – so different from September 11th 15 years ago.

I remember I wasn’t able to communicate with him that day. I wondered where he could be. I worried that he had lost his life. My thoughts immediately turned to the fact that we had recently started a life together. We hadn’t even had time to start a family. We had just purchased our first house for goodness sake!

Fast forward 15 years and we still don’t have a “family” in the normal sense. However, we realize that God’s will for our lives was different than our “plans.” Funny guy this being we call God!

Today, the landscape in downtown Manhattan has changed dramatically. My perspective on why my husband’s life was spared has changed as well. He has touched and changed so many lives since his “rebirth.” I truly believe THAT is his purpose.

He is often misunderstood by those who should understand him best. The truth is he goes out of his way to help others, to give advice and direction and expects nothing in return. He wishes the best for everyone and is genuinely happy to see others prosper. He will give you the shirt off his back and his most prized possession if you express an interest. He is a man of integrity and THAT’s probably the only thing he expects from others.

How much respect, love and admiration I have for him. He is truly one of the greatest, kindest, compassionate human beings I have the privilege of knowing. He is the first thing that comes to mind when I focus on gratitude and acknowledging the various blessings in my life.

My husband inspires me to remain strong in times of adversity. He teaches me everyday about depth of spirit. I shudder to think what he could have become as a result of his experience 15 years ago. I’m grateful for the man he is today. He never sought psychological help as a result of all this. His ability to deal without seeking professional help makes me realize the power of faith, prayer and God’s infinite love for his children. There but by the grace of God goes my husband!

Where is God’s grace working in your life? If you have trouble finding it, remember His grace is given freely and unmerited but it needs to be accepted! God bless you!

Belonging more deeply!

Today I felt compelled to share the reflection I mentioned in my Power of Yes blog. Just a little bit of background: several years ago I was asked to give a reflection to my parish congregation. The topic was Belonging More Deeply. Here’s what I shared:

As I thought about the topic of belonging more deeply and how we could do that, three words came to mind: prayer, surrender and gratitude.

As Christians, we know how important prayer is in our relationship with God, who is with us at all times. I grew up knowing the importance of prayer. However, never was it more evident to me than on September 11, 2001. I remember the day vividly. My husband and I had just purchased our first home and adopted our late dog, Leo. I was a practicing attorney in Manhattan, working in the Woolworth Building, just 2 blocks from the WTC. My husband was a union electrician working inside the WTC.

The day started as any other day. Actually, it was better than any other day. I was exceptionally happy with life. I remember walking the dog and holding my head up high as I thought: Thank you God! As I approached my front door, my neighbor popped his head out to tell me that a plane had just hit the WTC. My husband was there. The only thing I knew would comfort me and help me believe that he would get out alive was prayer. I learned very early in my life about the power of prayer from my mother. So I decided to call the rest of our family. I thought “the more prayer the better the chance of his survival.”

It was 9:30 before I was finally able to hear his voice. He was ok and trying to make his way home. Several days after the ordeal, my husband shared his version of the events. He was on the 91st floor of tower 1, just two floors below where the first plane hit. After exiting the building and realizing that the subway system had been shut down, he had no idea where to go from there. As he wandered the streets of lower Manhattan, he ran into a childhood friend he hadn’t seen in many years and who happened to be a NYC police officer. The officer filled him in on the facts and pointed him in the direction of the Brooklyn Bridge. My husband made his way to the bridge and then the first tower fell.

As the puff of smoke from the fallen building was about the engulf my husband, he turned to see a van trying to get past the sea of people attempting to cross the Brooklyn Bridge and noticed the driver was alone. He knocked on the window and asked the man to let him in and he did, before the smoke reached them. My husband was simply looking to make it across the bridge, but the man lived in our area and drove him straight to our front door. The man’s name was Manuel – short for Emmanuel – God is with us. Looking back on that day, it is obvious that God was with my husband.