God Archives - Shepherd of Faith

Where are You now? Have you ever made a fist and looked up to the sky and asked God this question? Have you ever prayed fervently for something in particular and thought your prayers were being answered only to have the rug pulled out from under you shortly thereafter? Lord knows I have.

Just recently I was “teased.” I imagined my prayer was being answered and I was overjoyed. Unfortunately, just several hours later I was socked in the gut! I was met with a wall of resistance I would never have imagined. Surprisingly for me, I remained peaceful; I wasn’t “shaken by the storm.” I realized in that instance that God was at work in my life. He was in control, just not as I had thought.

I laugh to myself sometimes when I think about how God works. I’m reminded of something Oprah said many years ago about being careful what you pray for. She said something like: God doesn’t just shower down the virtues we pray for, He gives us situations that help those virtues increase in our lives (I’m paraphrasing of course). So when I pray for patience and humility, etc……………..you mean He’s not going to wave his magic wand? Apparently not. I’m learning that firsthand.

One thing I will say – It’s an awesome feeling to recognize how God is working in my life – not just in the BIG moments but in the small moments too. What a blessing it is for me to be attuned to His loving gaze each and every moment of the day. It makes my heart leap with joy!

Today, as part of my Advent meditations, I reflected on Luke 1:48: “He has regarded the lowly estate of His handmaiden.” In considering that verse with Psalm 22 it became clear to me that when we turn our gaze to God in humility, He returns the gaze. It’s that simple! If we have to ask: where are you now?, it’s not because He’s far off, it’s because our gaze is not on Him and His will.

One song I heard yesterday really put it all in perspective: even in our suffering, even when it can’t be seen, I know, You’re in control! Those words are taken from my new favorite – Lauren Daigle’s Look Up Child.

I hope you enjoy the song. May it bring you the comfort and peace you need today. Look up child! God bless you!

Times stands still in the present!

In one of my past posts, I talked about the importance of living in present moment awareness. I mentioned how I failed at smiling when my mind wandered to past and future events. Yesterday, as is true of all things inspired by the Holy Spirit, I received an answer to why this is so. This answer led me to realize something else.

I started a new chapter in the current book I’m reading Forty Weeks – An Ignatian Path to Christ with Sacred Story Prayer. Here’s what it says and the answer to why it’s impossible to smile unless we’re rooted in present moment awareness:

The eternal God can only be experienced in the here and now, for everything in the universe is sustained by God’s love in the present moment. When I worry about the past, or fret about the future, my consciousness of God, of creation, and of my deepest desires, is blocked. My challenge is to anchor both heart and mind firmly in the present: in each thought, word, and deed, as the story of my life evolves, in each moment, in God’s presence.

So let’s put it all together now. We can smile only when we’re focused on the present and ONLY in the present can God be experienced! Here’s my legal logical reasoning mind at work: WE CAN SMILE ONLY WHEN GOD IS EXPERIENCED!

“The eternal God can only be experienced in the here and now” must have lingered in my subconscious all night because I spent this morning in a powerful meditative state. God’s Presence was palpable. I savored the moments when tears welled up in my eyes because that’s when I felt Him closest. As I remained focused on the present moment this morning, I realized something else: it felt like time stood still. Let me explain.

Late Sunday night I decided to get myself ready for a productive week by making a list of things to do. Being the organized, sometimes neurotic , person I am I split the list into categories – business, home and church. I wound up with a full double-sided sheet of paper. Initially this overwhelmed me. I started to tackle some of my chores after making the list last night. Needless to say, I was up past midnight. Normally what happens when I make such a huge list is I become paralyzed. Most of my time is spent worrying about everything I have to do instead of my actually doing anything. This in turn makes me feel like there aren’t enough hours in a day. Today was different.

I woke up after only getting 4.5 hours of sleep last night. After seeing my husband off to work I was tempted to go back to bed but I refused. I knew it would keep me from my morning routine of prayer and contemplation. It would also change the trajectory of my day and the plans I had made. Instead I decided to sit on my deck with coffee and just be. I watched the fog disappear and reappear in the distance. As I listened to the birds sing their morning songs, I watched my dogs do what they do best – teach me.

I continued with my morning and decided I wouldn’t have time to attend mass today. But…………as we all know, God has a great sense of humor. I “planned” a busy day where I wouldn’t have time to go to church. God had a different plan – time to spare! Between 5 and 8:30 am I managed to be still for a significant amount of time, pray, do a load of laundry, clean two bathrooms, vacuum, have breakfast and head out to church with enough time to participate in morning prayer. It literally felt like time stood still this morning. God is infinite and when we truly experience Him in the here and now time seems infinite as well. This morning I realized things effortlessly fall into place when you remain present.

For my sisters in Christ who are reading Forty Weeks with me, this is for you. The consensus is that it’s going to be difficult to maintain the routine required in the book. It almost seems like too much to remember – too many steps. I am happy to report that the routine just flowed for me today. As a matter of fact, I completed today’s assignment before I even opened the book and that wasn’t my intention. Simply being present allowed me to enter into that space of grace! I felt closer to God this morning than I have in a long time. Boy did it feel good to be steeped in prayer and presence. The lesson here: don’t think too much, just be and let it flow! Remember, “it’s not Mount Everest” applies to the rest of the book too.